


Love and Death

by CatchingFlames



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-08
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-11-20 15:17:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/586781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatchingFlames/pseuds/CatchingFlames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen survive the ultimate test in the sadistic game that is love and death, spent trying to teeter around the edge of death but along the way empowering a love strong enough to overcome the rules?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I'm standing at the Cornucopia, surrounded by darkness and the nights air is making my hair stand on end. The only sounds are the Mockingjay's in the distance calling out to one another. One opponent left I think. One more murder then I can go home and see Prim. Prim. I wonder how she's doing, has Gale looked after her like he promised? Does she hate me for killing all these helpless children? No, she'll understand, I had to do it otherwise I wouldn't be come home to her, at least not alive.

My thoughts are cut short by the sound of my not so stealthy opponent. I can hear him flailing through the woods directly in front of me. I can hear the Mockingjays take flight as he enters the clearing, searching for me, he's only around 100 meters away. You can do this, just one more kill. I've grabbed the knife from my belt when he sees me. We lock eyes for a few moments and I try to search them for any sign that my attacker is still human and sane. But I only find a look I've seen many tributes before. He looks bloodthirsty. The arena changes you, no one ever comes out the same as they went in. Most Victors are driven mad by the obscenities they endure and induce. District Twelve has only one Victor, Haymitch Abernanthy. He won the fiftieth Hunger Games. When he came back he resorted to alcohol to drown out all the memories. He hasn't been coherent for years. As he won the games each year he gets given District Twelves tributes to mentor. He has had to mentor 48 children. forty eight children that he was forced to watch die while he sat there on the sidelines with no way to help, as usually our tributes are dying from starvation and have no skills in surviving so we never get many sponsors. You can only imagine what that feels like. But there's still me, I'm still alive and I've made it further than any tribute before, we usually don't last past the bloodbath in the beginning of the games.

Mt attacker runs for me, stumbling often. I still stand, just waiting. Waiting for the right moment. I spread my feet shoulder width apart preparing for the oncoming tackle. My heartbeat quickens and my breathing ceases when I feel something crawl up my ankle. I try to run but it holds me firmly in place. Then it's grip tightens and I release a scream as I hear the bone in my ankle snap and then I fall to the knees helpless, with my knife now laying by my side.

I can make out the outline of the tribute when he's standing above me. He begins to laugh merciously at me. I can see his lips moving but I cant hear a thing over the pounding in my ears. I let out another scream as I feel the bone in my ankle snap again. My opponent smiles menacingly as I beg him for my life, he picks up my knife and wipes it on the edge of his top and begins to slash my arms. Tears streak down my cheek and I grit my teeth trying to hold in my cries of pain. I need to keep strong for Prim now and only hope he finishes me quick for her sake, but I know he wishes to prolong his last kill and entertain the audience. Wheres the fun in a quick, merciful kill? I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel the blade dig into my cheek and graze the bone.

"It's over now Twelve."

I bolt awake with sweat dripping down the nape of my neck and draw in the heavy air that fills my room generously. My covers are strewn across my floor and I notice Prim balled up in the corner of her bed, eyes filled with terror and just staring at me.

"I'm so sorry Prim." I say as I cross room to her. "Did I wake you? I'm really sorry. It was only a dream I'm alright."

I sit on the edge of her bed and invite her into my arms then slowly rock her back and forth stroking her blonde hair.

"Katniss, are you okay? I've never seen you that bad before, you were screaming so loud and kept repeating 'Please', I tried to wake you but it only made you worse." Her tone is filled with worry and fear. I managed to scare my little sister, my little Prim, I feel so guilty right now.

"I'm so sorry. I'm fine, really, it was just a bad dream." I say, trying to convince myself more than Prim.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I shudder as I remember the tribute slashing at me freely, this is defiantly not something I tell my sister. I cant tell her that I am worried about being reaped, it would only scare her more about it as well. I shake my head so Prim pulls me into her bed and curls into my side.

"Was it about tomorrow?"

Tomorrows the annual reaping. The Capitol hold The Hunger Games once a year to remind the District's of the Dark Days. 74 years ago there was a thirteenth district which rebelled against The Capitol, this lead to a war and eventually the destruction of District 13. So as a reminder that this must never be repeated The Capitol came up with the idea of The Hunger Games. This is when one male and female child from each of the twelve districts is randomly chosen at the reaping. You become eligible for the reaping when you turn twelve and every year your name is put in that bowl until you reach the age of nineteen. Prim has just turned twelve so this is her first reaping. Once they are chosen they get sent to The Capitol to be trained this starts a week before the games begin. After being trained the 24 tributes will be thrown into a enclosed arena that could contain anything from a desert to a forest. When there they have to fight to the death for the entertainment of The Capitol, this is broadcast live to every TV in Panem. In The Capitol they treat is as a festivity; they place bets, throw parties and laugh at the deaths. Usually a Career will win as they are trained from an early age to fight. The Careers is a pack made up from the tributes from districts 1, 2, 4 but by the end of the games they end up killing each other off as there can only be one Victor.

So of course Prim is already pretty worked up about this, but her name is only in the bowl once so there's no way she'll be chosen. My name is in there 20 times as I signed up for tessarae for each of my family members and the tesserae accumulated from previous years . Each tessera is worth a years supply of grain and oil for one person. I hear Prims breathing deepen and it helps me to relax and I fall into a dreamless sleep with Prim beside me.


	2. Chapter 2

At dawn I silently braid my hair, put on my boots and fathers hunting jacket careful not to wake Prim, then head to the fence surrounding District Twelve. On my way I pass through the meadow which is filled with dandelions and grass that comes up to my knees. The meadow is one of my favourite places, it's always so peaceful and the only area that isn't covered in coal dust. When I was little my father used to take me here and I'd hide in between the grass then jump out on him as he walked by, then he'd put on his best suprised face and chase me around. Ever since he died I started coming here more often to escape everything, it helps me to relax and sought out my thoughts. When I reach the fence I listen for the hum that tells me electricity is passing through it- being from District Twelve, one of the poorer districts we rarely have electricity supplied unless it's to watch the madatory programming on the tv's-but when I hear nothing but the birds and the leaves rustling as the wind picks up, I slide under the hole in the bottom of the fence and jog to the cover of the trees. Entering the woods is supposed to be illegal but as long I dont get caught going in or coming out I'm usually safe and seeing as the head peacekeeper is one of my best customers he wouldn't be able to tell president snow without being in an 'accident' himself.

More people would risk going into the woods and hunting if they knew about the lapse in security and even those who do still dont as they've no idea how to wield a weapon and I'm sure they'd rather not become dog chow.

When I'm deep enough into the woods to not be seen I recover a bow and some arrows I hid in the trees. Mhy father how to use them when I was younger, he would take me to the woods show all sorts of plants I could dig up and eat then one day when he was shooting some elk he spotted me admiring him shooting and since then he gave me lesson on how to use a bow and arrow and eventually made me my own one. Then we would have competions to see who could shoot the biggest rabbit and then he'd take me to the lake and give me swimming lessons.

Once after a lesson he said to me,

"When Prim's old enough, Katniss, you can bring her here and teach her to swim and then we can all share this beautiful place. But don't tell your mother she would probably try to kill me if she found out I was taking you and Prim so deep into the woods."

But after he died I could never bring myself to, I just wanted to be selfish one time and have a special place that only I knew about, bedides Prim would never make it this far she would of ran back home screaming before we'd even made it five minutes into the cover of the trees. And now the woods just for survival, their my lifeline, no more fun. You just go in, spend a few hours catching game and gathering then you leave as soon as possible unless you want to be chased by rabid animals.

It's a ten minute walk frOm the fence to mine and Gales usual meeting spot, we come here every sunday to spend the day hunting. It's a high ledge surrounded by shelfs of rock and bushes covered with blackberries, it overlooks the whole of District Twelve. Sometimes we bring a picnik and sit in the very edge and listen to animals running by and open up to each other, talking about how our week was or about Prims face when she saw I had managed to buy her, her first cookie from the bakery, it cost me two squirrels but it was worth it.

When I reach the ledge the sun is emrging frim behind a cluster of trees and Gale is perched on the Ledge with the morning sun dancing between his dark brown hair and his seam grey eyes are filled with humor when he lifts up a loaf of bread with an arrow through it.

"Hey Catnip, look what I shot!"

Real bread is something of a delicacy in the seam as it's so expensive. We can improvise and make our own out of the grain we recieve but it's not as good.

"Oh my god, Gaale! Where did you get that?"

"The baker traded it for one squirrel" Me and Gale started to hunt together in the woods after our fathers died in a minnung accident, whatever we shoot we either trade with the baker or take to the hob.

"Only one squirrel?"

"Yeah, well it is reaping day, guess he was feeling sentimental."

"How many times is your name in the bowl this year?"

Gale his adverts his eyes frim mine all the humor gone, "Does it really matter?"

"Gale!" I protest.

"Fine, fourty eight."

"Fourt eight?" I squeak.

"Yeah, look can we talk about something else please?" Then he finally decides to meet my eyes and they are begging me to drop the subject.

"Fine. Look what Prim gave us," I say holoding up the lump of goats cheese she made.

Gale grows a grin as he calls out "Thankyou Prim!" In a sing song voice.

When we've each got a slice of bread topped with cheese and some basil leaves I found we hold them in the air and I put on my best Capitol accent and say, "Happy Hunger Games..." And then Gale finishes, "And may the odds be ever in your favour!" Of course the odds have never really been in my favour. Two more slices of bread later and with a full game bag we head baack to District twelve in silence, listen to the grass rustle beneath our feet and the birds flying from tree to tree. When we reach the fence I'm suddenlt wrapped in Gales arms as he burries his head in my hair. Not in a romantic way though just...a friendly gesture, he knows my views on marriage and kids. I refuse to bring a innocent child into a world where it could end up being reaped or watching a friend die in the games and I'm never going to marry because that would lead to the inevitable; kids.

"Good luck Catnip. Wear something pretty." And with that he disapears into the seam. When I get home Prim is wearing a white hand me down dress, the same one I wore in my first reaping. She has her blonde hair in two plaits on either side of her face and is playing wioth her finger nervously.

"I filled the tub with some water for you," My mother calls from the other room.

"Thanks," I reply flatly because I still haven't forgiven her for leaving me and Prim. When my father died my mother went into a deep depression, she wouldn't respond to anyone, she wouldnt move from her chair by the fireplace. No amount of pleas from Prim made her return, and we were starving because my mother would not work. So at the age of eleven I took over as head of the family, thats when I met Gale who was in the same sort of postion as me becasue his father died in the same explosion. Together we would hunt in the woods for food to supply our families with. It took a year for my mother to awake from her stupor and I've forgiven her because she watched as Prim and me starved adn refused to anything about it.

The water is lukewarm because none of the houses are supplied with hot water so we heat it above the fire. Once I've scrubbed all the dirt from my body and braided my hair I find that my mopther has laid out a blue dress for me with a tie around the waist and small white buttons going up the front. She must be trying hard to revive our relationship but I refuse to let her. I put it on anyway because it's either this or my hunting clothes.

"You look pretty," Prim says as I walk into the living room.

"Not as pretty as you, Prim" I say with a smile, she flushes red at my compliment.

"Come on, lets go," I take her hand and lead her to the town centre where the reaping will take place. The square is surrounded with big whit lights and bunting hanging from the buildings and right in the centre is a stage with two large glass bowls hokding the destiny of two kids within. It's not untill we line up to have our names taken that I notice Prims sobs. I kneal down in front of her and pull her chin up forcing her to look at me. The emotion in her eyes almost breaks my heart but I cant let her know that I need to stay strong.

" Hey, shhh, it's gonna be okay," She still continues to cry, "Prim, you have to be strong, for me."

"What if I get picked?" Her voice is barely audible.

"Prim, your names only in there once, their not going to pick you," This seems to calm her a bit.

"But what about you?"

"I'll be fine, dont worry about me."

"Bu-"

"Prim, it'll be fine. And once it's done we'll go see Lady and you can make some of your lovely cheese," I say poking her stomach.

She smiles at this "Okay."

"Look theres Esme, go and stand with her, I'll come and get you afterwards."

Once we're all stood in age ggroups and then gender Effie Trinket walks up to the stage. "Welcome to the seventy fourth annual reaping for the Hunger Games!" Why is she always so cheerful, she seems oblivioous to the fact that she picking the kids to be murdered. She then gives us a speach about the dark days and shoes us a video telling us why it shoulkd never be repeating therefor creating the hunger games. When it finishes she carries a smile that looks as if it might break her face in two. "Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favour! Ladies first!" She says as she dips her hand into the reaping bowl, everyone is silent and holding their breaths as she pulls out the slip holding the name of unlucky kid, I just hope it's not a twelve year old again. Not Prim, Please not Prim, I repeat over and over in my head.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you, your newest tribute...Katniss Everdeen."


	3. Chapter 3

I stand here frozen. My heart stops.  _What? It can be me! Who's going to look after my family?_ A strangled cry from Prim's lips is what brings me back to my senses. My feet automatically take me towards the stage as everyone seperates to make a pathway all eyes on me. Sorrow, remorse, joy and pity are some of the emotions showing within the crowds. Whilst everyone else is thanking their lucky stars, here I am preying to them that I dont get killed. Effie Trinket takes my hand to lead me onto the front of the stage and then begins to congratulate me on  _gaining the honor_ of being selected for the games. It makes me feel sick how the Capitol treat this; as a festivity, they throw parties and the smile on Effies face every year when she comes, this should not be something to celebrate, their murdering kids! And no one will try to stop it because once you're over eighteen you're done, finished, no longer at risk of being reaped so why should they try to stop it? Everyone knows the kids dont have the power to overthrow the Capitol, the adults are the only people that can but because they're now safe and dont want to risk their lives to save hundreds of kids in the long run.

"And now time to select your male tribute!" Effie's voice is bursting with excitment and anticipation. Her hand dips into the bowl, rumages around a little, pulling out the slip, unfolding it...

"Your male tribute is...Gale Hawthorne!"

_Oh no,_  This cant be happening, wake up! _Wake up, wake up, wake up!_ But it's no use, this is happening and I cant do anything about it except play along. Me and my best friend are about to be pitted against each other. This is why I never let people in, why I try not to care because eventually something like this happens. My eyes never leave Gales as he walks up on stage and comes to stand on my left and I can tell by the look on his face that he too, is filled with dread. Effie then congratulates us again and we shake hands, I avoid eye contact with him as I form a plan in my head. Distance yourself from Gale and then it will be easier on us when we have to kill eachother. The anthem plays as I am looking through the crowd seeking out Prim, she's crumpled on the ground behind the crowd where my mother and Gales younger brother, Rory have their arms wrapped around her. My mother looks up and gives me a slight nod- she's saying thankyou for taking Prims place cause it would be harder on her to have Prim in there instead of me. The next thing I know I'm being escorted to the Justice building where I will have an hour to say my goodbyes.

The first to arrive are Prim and mother. Prim runs straight into my arms whilst my mother stands of to the side unsure of what to do, seeing as we dont have the tradition mother and daughter relationship.

"Kat-, Kat-, Katniss," Prim stutters.

"Hey, it'll be okay." I keep my voice strong because I can't let her know I've already given up on myself.

"No it wont, you have come home to me, me and mum need you," I can feel her tears seeping through my dress as I stroke her hair reassuringly.

"I know, Prim," I say trying to avoid making false promises.

"Promise me you'll come home, promise"

"It's not that easy."

"Yes it is! You know how to hunt and you're strong and smart, Please, Katniss," She looks up to me and I see determination in her eyes that sparks me on and I feel like there is some truth to her words maybe I could do it.

"I promise, Prim."

"You'll do everything you can, no matter whay it takes?" She says sniffing.

"Everything." She then burries her head in my dress again and tightens her embrace. I look up to my mother to see she's frowning.

" Prim can you wait for mother outside please, so I can talk to her alone" She throws worried glances in both our directions and I reply with a weak smile.

"Okay, I love you Katniss and dont forget your promise, I love you." Her tears have started to pour again.

"I love you too, Prim." And then I let her go, she gives me a kiss on the cheek and once she's out of the door I turn to mother.

"You can leave this time, no matter what happens to me, you cant leave like you did with dad, you have Prim to look after now and I wont be there to make sure she eats."

"I wont, I promise." She then gives me a quick awkward hug.

"You know I'm so proud of you, your father would be too," I'm shocked into silence, she never talks about my dad. "I'm sorry for leaving you both."

"You shouldn't be apologising to me," I say bluntly.

"I know but I have to make sure you know and dont forget that I love you when you're in there"

"Well you've had a funny way of showing it." I scoff

"I know and I'm sorry just please, please can you forgive me?" Tears are starting to slip from her eyes.

I move my gaze to the floor, "I dont know," I whisper.

She's on her knee's now and gripping my forarms tightly and her voice breaking, "Please Katniss, please forgive me, I need you to."

I've started crying now and my voice is rising trying to make her understand, "I can't, okay, I just...I just can't, we almost died! And what did you do? You just sat in your room staring Ignoring our pleas, We needed you and not just for food but for support you lost your husband but we lost a father too! We needed comfort! We needed a mother!" My voice is filled with disgust towards the end.

Peacekeepers come and tell her she needs to leave but she's not moving just staring at me, her eyes are filled with shame.

"Im know and I'm sorry, so, so, sorry," Peacekeepers have started dragging her from the room, "Please forgive me" Her voice is getting more distant, "Please!" She screams to me. Just before the peacekeeper closes the door I shake my head at her and she's gone just like that, believe me, I wish I could forgive her but it would at take time; alot of it and I dont have much left to be worrying over her.

I wipe my eyes and take deep clensing breaths untill my next visiter arrives. It's Hazelle Hawthorne. Her seam grey eyes are puffy and red, she must of just been to see Gale.

"Katniss, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay Hazelle." She throws her arms around me.

"No it's not. You  _and_  Gale are going into the arena and you're best friends. I'm not going to ask you to sacrifice yourself for him, because I know you have a family that needs you just as much as we need Gale, but please will you promise me that you'll keep an eye out for him, make sure he doesn't get into trouble before the games actually start," She chuckles sadly, "I wont hold it against you if you come back and he doesn't, just please be a friend to him for now, because thats what he'll need the most."

"I promise, thankyou Hazelle." So many promises are being made today, I wonder how many will actually be kept.

She release her grip on me and then starts to head for the doors before turnning around to face me one last time, "No. thankyou, Katniss. And dont worry about Prim I'll look after her for you." The doors close behind before I can express my grattitude.

"Come with me, Miss Everdeen," A tall peacekeeper with chocolate brown hair says. I follow him from the room to a slick black car with tinted windows. Gale is sat opposite Effie who is blabbering on about what an honour it is to be going into the games whilst he is sending her death glares that she seems to be oblivious to. I take a seat next to Gale and ignore him completely because it will only be harder on us in the arena if we're still close,  _sorry Hazelle_ , I think. We arrive at the train that will take us to the Capitol ten minutes later, then we are surounded by peacekeepers as they seem to think we are incapable of walking a few metres on our own. Once inside the doors slide closed and click, the train the jolts foward making me stumble. Effie shows us the dinning room, where we will meet in exactly one hour for tea. There's a large polished wooden table in the centre of the room, a crystal chandelier hanging above it and marble walls. Next we are taken to our rooms to get ready for tea. My room is bigger than my house in the seam, the walls are painted a cream colour, theres laminate flooring, a huge double bed against one wall with 3 canvases hanging above and then a oak wardrobe in the corner of the room. I also have my own bathroom with a shower which I immediately jump into. There are hundreds of buttons that control the tempurature of the water, the water pressure and what kind of body wash used. After around thirty minutes of blindly pushing buttons, being attacked with smells and jets of water I hear a knock on my door. I put my hair in a braid and quckly shove on my silk robe and open the door.

"Sorry Effie, I hadn't realised-"

"Hey," Says Gale.

"Oh, hi..." I pull my robe closer.

"Are you okay?"

"Look, Gale, dont worry about me you need to look after yourself."

"Katniss, I promise you'll get out of that arena and home to Prim," His voice is filled with remorse.

"Stop Gale, I-"

"No you stop, Katniss. Your family needs you more than mine," He shouts at me.

"Gale, I'm not going to let you do this!"

"It's what I want." Tears are begining to trickle down my face, so much for being strong. Gale takes a step foward opening his arms, I flinch away from them.

"If you want me to help you plan your death then get out!"

"Katniss please" He looks agonized.

"I dont want to be a part of this and I dont need a lecture!"

"Katniss, I just," He voice is begining to crack and I'm becoming more hostile.

"In other words Gale, Just get the  _hell_  out of my room!" I spit out. I push him out of the doorway then slam the door in his face .

"Oh my!" I hear Effie call from down the hall. Once I've put my dress back on, I start to make my way to the dinning cart and take the furthest seat from Gale.

"Hello, Katniss. Are you enjoying the trip so far?"

"Yeah, very" She smiles brightly at me obviously not noticing the sarcasm in my voice.

"Do you know where your mentor is?" She says

"Last time I saw him he said he was taking a nap" More like drinking himself into an oblivion. Effie looks pleased at this news and then sits next to me. The first course is served and when I enquire what it is Effie says it's asparagus wrapped in salmon, I'm not to keen on it so I leave my plate alone untill some delicious looking stew arrives, then I pick up my fork and dig in. Effie looks at me and tuts.

"Well at least you have  _some_  table manners, the pair last year ate the whole meal with their fingers!" She says in a disgusted tone.

"The pair last year had never seen a proper meal in their life!" Gale retorts.

"Manners Gale! You should never back chat!" She's shaking her head.

"But you can't go around saying things like that, when you dont know a thing about them. You dont even give a shit if they die, it's all just a big game for you Capitol freaks; Watching kids die and then making fun of them!" Gale snarls. Effie jaw has dropped to the table and I'm shocked into silence but luckily Haymitch chooses this moment to stumble in bringing with him the stench of liquor.

"I miss supper?" He slurs. Effie regains her posture to frown at the incoherent figure.

"You," She says turning to face Gale, "and your mentor really need to learn some things about manners." The next thing I know Effie has fled from the room and I'm following behind her leaving Haymitch in pool of his own vomit and Gale laughing at him.

"At least you have some decency Katniss, lets go watch the recap of the reapings." then she starts to mutter something about 'District Twelves poor standards and how she always ends up with them' but I just ignore her because I know she's harmless really.


End file.
